"Drunk at Your Door" joke
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock - it's half-past three in the morning."I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?""No. Get lost, it's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up fromthe baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? Whatwould have happened if he'd told us to get lost?""But the guy was drunk," says the husband."It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swingset.
Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.
"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
The Polish guys look at each other, and one of more...
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Did you ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
Did you ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Nevermind, it's pointless.
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one more...
Once there was a farmer who sired four daughters. After they reached
puberty, he fretted for their virtue and always answered the door with a
loaded shotgun in his hands.
One night he answered a knock at the door to find a young man standing at
his threshold. The more...
A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island. The wife begins to lose interest in her husband and wishes on a star that she would find another man. The next day a man is washed on shore. He is very nice looking and finds immediate interest in the wife. The husband was very more...