"Enchanted Rattlesnake" joke
Springtime had arrived in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow covered trails looking for cattle that had survived the winter.
As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun, preparing to shoot the snake.
"Hold on there, partner," the snake said, "don't shoot me. I happen to be an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll grant you any three wishes you want."
Knowing he was safely out of the snake's striking range, the cowboy decided to take a chance. He said, "All right, first I'd like to have a face like Clarke Gable. Then, I'd like to have a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like to have sexual equipment just like this here horse I'm riding."
"No problem," the rattlesnake said. "When you get back to the bunk house, you'll have all three wishes."
The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and headed straight inside to the mirror.
Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clarke Gable. He ripped his shirt off and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bursting with excitement now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and screamed, "Oh, my God! I was riding the mare!"
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