"Fall lineup for 2000" joke

NBC

8:00 Friends

8:30 Girlfriends

9:00 One Guy with Several Female Friends

9:30 My Gay Friends

10:00 Friends You Wish You Had But Don't

FOX

8:00 Real Humans in Real Pain

8:30 Feral Dingoes Eating Children on Tape

9:00 Jiggle It Beach

9:30 LA Chicks

10:00 Beverly Hills 90210: The 90,210th Episode

UPN

8:00 The Unwatchables

8:30 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Ratings

9:00 Theoretically Existing Show

9:30 Praying For Syndication

10:00 The Last Thing You'd Ever Want To Sit Through

WB

8:00 Where My Wife At?

8:30 Gittin' Yo Freak On

9:00 Me & My Psychic

9:30 Kids Suck The Darndest Things

10:00 Dawson's Clothes

PUBLIC ACCESS

8:00 Blurry Steve

8:30 Inaudible City Council Meeting

9:00 Do We Have A Caller On The Line? Hello?

9:30 The Best Of Lunch Menus

10:00 My Friend Made This Short Film

10:30 Men With Braids Speak Out

E!

8:00 Andy Gibb: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills

8:30 John Belushi: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills

9:00 Margot Kidder: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills

9:30 River Phoenix: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills

10:00 Boy George: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills

ESPN2

8:00 Finland's Brutalest Men

8:30 Being Hit By A Trolley Regional Semifinals

9:00 60 Minutes Of Joe Theismann's Leg Breaking

10:00 Coed Spread-Eagled Weight-Training From Maui

LIFETIME

8:00 How Can I Choose Between My Daughters?

9:00 The Abused Wife Who Didn't Mean To Kill Her Fourth Husband in Self-Defense

10:00 The Boy Whose Mommy Watched Far Too Much Television

TNN

8:00 Well, I'll Be Dipped in Pigturd!

8:30 Roadkill Recipe to Warm the Cockles of Your Heart

9:00 You Hush Up, Wanda Mae

9:30 Sheeeeeeee-ewt!

10:00 Hold' Er Down While I Get the Rifle From the Truck

TELEMUNDO

8:00 Roberto Amorosa en Agua Caliente!

9:00 Whoomp! Donde Esta?

9:30 Goooooooooooooooooooal!

10:00 Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!

10:30 La Hora de Goya

CINEMAX

8:00 Bare Ambition (Tanya Roberts)

8:30 Naked Exposition (Traci Lords)

9:00 Body Of Nudity (Dana Plato)

10:00 Unclothed Anguish (Joyce DeWitt)