"Farm Couple" joke
Once there was an elderly couple that lived on a farm. One day the farmer came to his wife and grabbed her boobs.
He said, "If we could get milk out of these things, we could get rid of the cows."
The next day he approached her, grabbed her butt, and said, "If we could get eggs out of this thing, we could get rid of the chickens."
His wife turned around, reached between his legs, and said, "If you could get this hard, we could get rid of your brother."
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could more...
My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.