"Fear in Bed" joke
Brian went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. Then, when I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Doc, you've gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the psychiatrist. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"My fee is per visit."
"That's awfully expensive, Doc," reckoned Brian. "Let me sleep on it, and I'll get back to you."
Six months later, the doctor and Brian crossed paths. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a visit? Heck, a bartender cured me for free! "
"How do you figure?" asked the psychiatrist.
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
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