"Fearsome Dieting" joke

Tony was a typical forward in the football team - big and tough. But he was in trouble. He had put on too much weight and was told if he didn't lose some quickly, he'd be dropped from the team. He consulted a doctor at the sports clinic.

"We're testing a new method of weight reduction" said the Dr, "and we'd like you to try it out. You can eat as anything you like, and as much as you like, but instead of eating it, you must consume it anally." "What! Shove it up my arse?" asked Tony. "That's right" the Dr replied, "but there is one possible side effect... there's a 50% chance you may become homosexual." Tony was very concerned about this but really wanted to be on the team so he agreed.

Three weeks later, Tony returned to the Dr looking trim and fitter. "This is great!" he said. "I can eat anything I like. All I do is shove it up me bum!". "And you look great!" said the Dr "any gay feelings?" "No doc, none" said Tony smiling. "Keep it up, and come back and see me in three weeks."

When Tony returned for his check-up, he had clearly lost more weight. He was jubilant. "I've been eating Big Macs, Kentucky Fried and heaps of cakes. I just shove the lot up. It's great! And no gay inclinations!" "Good!" said the Dr, "but come back next week for a final check-up".

Two weeks later Tony was back seeing the Dr. He appeared very nervous, twitching, wriggling, standing on one foot then the other, pacing up and down the Dr's surgery and swaying his hips from side to side. "Oh no!" said the Dr, "you've become gay!"

"Don't worry, doc. Everything's OK. I'm just having a Mintie".