"Fernando Torres" joke
After a few pints of bitter, Fernando Torres has a bet with Stevie Gerrard that he can go out and beat Man United all on his own.
So, come Saturday Torres goes out to Old Trafford to play whilst Stevie stays down the pub.
After the match, Nando comes back to Stevie in the pub.
'So what was the score Nando?'
'It was 1-1.'
'Ha ha ha, I win my bet!! But you did well, 1-1 against 11 men'
'Yeh, it wasn't too bad but I got sent off after 34 minutes'
Fifth Law of Procrastination:
Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there is nothing important to do.
First Law of Procrastination:
Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority who imposed the deadline).