"God Will Take Care Of Me" joke
There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him. Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." So, the man in the boat drove off. The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in. Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." The person in the boat then left. The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in. Jim said, "That's okay." The woman said, "Are you sure?" Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me." Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to heaven and was face-to-face with God. Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What happened?" God replied, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?"
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