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THE MARS TIMES
Interplanetary Edition - Number 34,918,495,932 – Published every day the sun shines
EARTH DROPS MORE SPACE JUNK ON MARS' DESERT
Second dose of space junk lands in as many weeks.
Greenie Scouts snapped this visual scan of the Earth debris near Grdrzzwils.
By Zmrwxysuvrityqwz
Special to The Mars Times
For the second time in as many weeks, residents of the Earth planet have dropped additional space junk on the Martian desert. Today's debris was first spotted by a Greenie Troop on a hike near Vlnuxptaqwzt crater in Grdrzzwils. The troop, led by Tzwrygmqwxl, quickly followed the Alien Space Contact Procedures (see below) and hid behind large rocks until the sun had gone down.
Sector command has since cordoned off the area near the crash site and is currently constructing false backdrops so if the debris proves to be operational, only barren desert scenes will be beamed back to the Earth planet. They believe that this debris contains a small mobile device similar to the one that landed several Gralls ago near Tyzwtqxvmk.
Late Update: Sector Commander Tzzxyqsl has issued a statement confirming that the latest debris appears to be operational, as motion has been detected in the center of the debris pile.
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Earth Planet Continues to Produce Junk at a Steady Rate
The Institute of Space Studies had indicated several weeks ago that they believe the Earth people have several of these debris piles enroute to Mars, based on recent telesographic observation of the third planet. They warned at that time the debris could crash anywhere on our planet and it was important for citizens to immediately report such sightings should they occur.
Alien Space Debris Contact Procedures
Source: Institute of Space Studies; Planetary Command
1> Report any suspected alien space debris immediately to Sector Command.
2> Avoid any visual or physical contact with debris. Earth junk frequently has cameras or other scanning equipment attached.
3> Any moving objects should be avoided. Do not play with these items, and do not take them home as souvenirs.
4> If you unable to leave the area immediately, use large rocks to hide behind until you can reach the nearest underground access point. The Earth debris must not be allowed to observe the location of city entryways.
5> Do not take off your Vzxwqlkqa or Xzzzwqalkm within scan range of Earth debris. Scientists believe their people would not be able to handle the truth about the true length of our Pnxzwqs.
Earth may possibly try to send its own residents at a later time, according to the Institute spokes-being. Therefore it is important that we take steps to make the planet surface look as inhospitable and uninhabited as possible.
The Space Command reported that it would be testing the new SDI system, known as Star Wars, to attempt to shoot down the other debris currently inbound to our planet from Earth.
Environmental Effects Still Not Well Understood
The Institute completed a study last year of the probable environmental impact of the Earthies space junk. Older debris fields have been combed for possible environmental hazards. Alien substances were found which could under the right circumstances pollute our air and water supplies. Therefore, Institute members have taken to removing pieces from the older debris files in the hope that the Earth watchers will not spot the changes with the visual scanners. The recovered junk is then flushed down the Moxbhwqzpl where it is interred with the rest of the Rqwxzplyzz.
Reporter Gzxqtrxxxxazq contributed to this story.
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