"Handy Metric to English system conversions and units" joke

Handy Metric to English system conversions and units
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameterEskimo Pi
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital1 I.V. League
2000 pounds of Chinese soupWon Ton
0.000001 cc. mouthwash1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrierMach Turtle
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hourknot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer1 lite year 16.5 feet in the
Twilight Zone1 Rod Serling
0.5 large intestine1 semicolon
1,000,000 aches1 megahertz
1,000 murderers on a chaingang1 kilohertz
Weight an evangelist carries with God1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokesa straight line
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement1 bananosecond
1/2 bath1 demijohn
Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step", the first step of a one-mile journey1 Milwaukee.