"Having retired several months before" joke
Having retired several months before, Mr. Boniface was bored and went looking for part-time work. Landing a job as a school bus driver and given a very short route to begin with, he was handed a set of keys and told that his bus would be in spot number fifteen the following morning.
The next day Mr. Boniface went to the bus depot and boarded his bus-which, as it happened, was decorated with Sesame Street characters. Though he felt a tad foolish driving a bus with Big Bird on the door, Mr. Boniface knew-the lads must like it and put the decorations; from his mind.
The first lads he picked up were two chubby girls, both of whom happened to be named Pat-, tie. Both carried peanut butter sandwiches and as they took huge, snorting bites, dripped jelly all over the bus. At the next stop, portly Hoss and his mother came on, the woman going on; and on about how special her brilliant son was and how she hoped Mr. Boniface would drive very carefully. The last child on the route was Lester, who walked on holding a deck of cards.
As they rode toward the school, Lester suddenly broke out the cards and began playing with the other kids. However, it didn't take but a minute for Hoss to start screaming that Lester was cheating. After having honked a horn that sounded like Kermit, watched Pattie and Pattie eat like pigs, and listened to Hoss's mother babble on about her son, Mr. Boniface was in no mood for more screeching. Confiscating the cards, he sat Lester in the seat behind him and pressed on.
After a minute he happened to see Lester remove his shoe and start picking 3irt from between his toes.
"Christ!" Mr. Boniface screamed, "I've had it with all of you!"
Dumping the kids at school and rushing back to the depot, he stormed into his boss's office and threw down the keys.
"No more!" he shouted. "I just can't handle two all beef Patties, special Hoss, cheatin' Lester and his pickin' on a Sesame Street bus!"
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