Depot Jokes

President George W. Bush was going to a Home Depot. He was surrounded by his bodyguards, and everyone immediately took notice of the unusual sight. They looked closer and they saw who it was.
Everyone was in awe. "Why would George W. bush be in a Home Depot?" they all asked each other. "He should have his workers do it for him". Finally, one man asked the President, "What are you doing in this little store of ours?"
To which George replied, "Oh, everyone has been saying that I should get a new cabinet".

Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to Home Depot.
At Home Depot, Mary saw a beautiful bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt, (the manager) to finish waiting on a customer. When Walt was finished, Mary asked, "How much for that faucet?"
Walt replied, "That's pewter and it costs $300."
"My goodness that sure is a lot," Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy, and Walt went to the back room to find it. From the back room Walt yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the faucet."
This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot.

Idaho Senator Larry Craig will announce his resignation this morning from the Boise Depot, the city's historic, iconic (and phallic!) train depot.

The 10:30am press conference will be held in the men's rest room, or did you guess?

Which begs the question, Senator, have you no sense of irony, at long last?

12: 00 High noon, and tensions are high as well. Management is hiding inside the depot, so to set an example for the world and save face we will have to beat one of our own union members into a bloody pulp with a baseball bat. Volunteers are requested.

12: 01 No one volunteers. Morale seems low. This could be a long strike.

12: 02 We randomly select one union member to "volunteer." In what is surely a meaningless coincidence, this turns out to be the smallest, stupidest and most fragile worker there.

12: 03 The plan is stymied when our "volunteer" runs away with our only baseball bat. Recreational events for the weekend will have to be cancelled....

13: 00 After only one hour, I am already bored and frozen, stiff being the appropriate adjective in each case.

14: 12 Newspapers (the Province), books (Plato`s Republic) and radios (CKNW talkshows) are abandoned when one of our union brothers reveals his former more...

Having retired several months before, Mr. Boniface was bored and went looking for part-time work. Landing a job as a school bus driver and given a very short route to begin with, he was handed a set of keys and told that his bus would be in spot number fifteen the following morning.
The next day Mr. Boniface went to the bus depot and boarded his bus-which, as it happened, was decorated with Sesame Street characters. Though he felt a tad foolish driving a bus with Big Bird on the door, Mr. Boniface knew-the lads must like it and put the decorations; from his mind.
The first lads he picked up were two chubby girls, both of whom happened to be named Pat-, tie. Both carried peanut butter sandwiches and as they took huge, snorting bites, dripped jelly all over the bus. At the next stop, portly Hoss and his mother came on, the woman going on; and on about how special her brilliant son was and how she hoped Mr. Boniface would drive very carefully. The last child on the route was more...