"Horoscope of Farts" joke

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are. 1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart. 2-LAZY - Just fizzles3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts5-CARELESS - Farts in church6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present. 7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs. 11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently. 12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest. 13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants. 14- TIMID - Jumps when farting. 15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others. 16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants. 17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart. 18-MISERABLE - Can't fart19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass, Farts don't know where to go. 20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart. 21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on the dog. 22-DISAPPOINTED - Their farts don't stink. 23-FRESH GUY - Jumps in front of you and farts. 24-BIG BULLY - Farts louder than everyone else. 25-DELUDED - Enjoys all farts thinking they are their own. 26-CUTE - Discovers from farts what others have eaten. 27-WISE - Farts and say's "Who in hell shit? ?" 28-DAMNED MEAN - Farts in bed and pulls covers over wife's head. 29-MUSICAL - Tenor or bass Clear as a bellSmells like shit Sounds like hell. 30-HONEST - Farts and blames in on the hostess. 31-LIVELY - Jumps in air, farts three times, kicks like hell simultaneously.

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