"How Old Are You?" joke
One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. "Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in the greatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!"
"Did I say I was 64?"
"Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?"
"Damn straight you did! I'm 85!"
"85!! Unbelievable! You would be in great shape if you were 25! How old was your father when he died?"
"Did I say he was dead?"
"You mean..."
"Damn straight! He's 106 and going strong!"
"My Lord! What a healthy family you must come from! How long did your grandfather live?"
"Did I say he was dead?"
"No! You can't mean..."
"Damn straight! He's 126, and getting married next week!"
"126! Truly amazing, Mr. Edwards. But gee, I wouldn't think a man would want to get married at that age!"
"Did I say he' wanted' to get married?..."
In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident more...
Guy's wife comes home from her physical checkup at the M.D.'s, and her hubby says, "Well, how did it go?" She tells him, "The doctor says I'm in perfect shape!" Husband says, "Oh, yeah? How about that big fat ass?" She says, "Oh, we didn't talk more...
(Age 22)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates the finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic more...
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.