"How is the Italian version of Christmas different?" joke

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.

Bosses are like legs... When they get to the top, they become asses.