"How to interpret employment ads" joke

*** How to interpret employment ads
"Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less
than our competitors.

"Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train
you.

"Casual Work Atmosphere" - We don't pay enough to expect
that you will dress up.

"Must be Deadline Oriented" - You will be six months behind
schedule on your first day.

"Some Overtime Required" - Some time each night, some time
each weekend.

"Duties will Vary" - Anyone in the office can boss you
around.

"Must have an Eye for Detail" - We have no quality control.

"Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience" - You
will need to replace three people who just left.

"Problem Solving Skills a Must" - You are walking into a
company in perpetual chaos. Haven't heard a word from anyone
out there. Your first task is to find out what is going on.

"Requires Team Leadership Skills" - You will have the
responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.

"Good Communication Skills" - Management communicates
poorly, so you have to figure out what they want and do it.