"I asked God" joke
I asked God to take away my pain.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
Her spirit was whole,
her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings.
Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life
so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said... Ah, finally you have the idea.
While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. So here, thanks to John Sedgwick, is this Bricklayer's report. Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request for additional information in more...