Patience Jokes

I asked God to take away my pain.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
Her spirit was whole,
her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings.
Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life
so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said... Ah, finally you more...

I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

Patience will come to one who waits for it.
- Richard Lauterback
Moffett Naval Air Station, CA

The exhausted clerk had pulled down blanket after blanket from the shelf, but still the woman customer was not satisfied.
"There is one more blanket left," said the clerk. "Do you care to see it?"
"I'm not going to buy one today," said the woman. "I have only been looking for a friend."
"Well," said the clerk,"I'll take the last one down if you think your friend might be in it."
A couple of definitions from the Devil's Dictionary:
PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

Patience has its limits – take it too far and its cowardice. — George Jackson