"If the shoe fits, it`s ugly" joke

Gold`s Law: If the shoe fits, it`s ugly

Goldenstern`s Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.

Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has another.

Gordon`s First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

Gordon`s Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.

Gordon`s Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.