"In A Perfect World..." joke

. ..a person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17, and he would actually be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17.

...you could give away a baby bed without getting pregnant.

...forget-me-nots would stimulate the memory.

...doing what was good for you would be what you enjoyed doing the most.

...pro baseball players would complain about teachers being paid contracts worth millions of dollars.

...people would always have good reasons to be optimistic.

...you would never fumble, but if you did, you would recover the ball yourself.

...the mail would always be early, the check would always be in the mail, and it would be written for more than you expected.

...if the guy from the government said to you, "I'm here to help," not only would he mean it, but he would do it.

...all people would expect to be accepted.

...every once in a while at least, a kid who always closed the door softly would be told, "Go back and slam the door."

...highway patrolmen would never be around when you're running late, but would always be at your side when a BMW blows past or a Mac truck won't get off your bumper.

...the better food tasted, the less calories it would have.

...warranties would be for 13 months and products would fail at 12.

...more would be accomplished by governments when they spent more.