"In the taxi" joke
A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turn on a night-light, turn on the answering machine, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phone the local cab company and request a taxi.
The taxi arrives, and the couple opens the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because "she" always tries to eat the bird.
The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. The wife doesn't want the taxi driver to know the house will be empty. So, she explains to him that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cabdriver hit a parked car.
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