"Internet Addiction Serious Warning Signs!" joke

* You kiss your girlfriend’s home page.
* You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop on your lap… and your child in the overhead compartment.
* You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue when it happened.
* You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
* Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
* Your son tells you he’s had the beard for 2 months.
* You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games from Apogee.
* Your wife or husband says communication is important in a marriage… so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
* You forget what year it is.
* You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
* You move into a new house & decide to Netscape before you landscape.
* You tell the kids they can’t use the computer because “You’ve got work to do” and you don’t even have a job.
* You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
* Your spouse’s new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed. ”
* You don’t know what gender over three of your closest friends are because they have neutral nicknames.
* You email this message to your friends on the net. You think about printing it out to show it to your others and… what others?!?