"Jesus is watching you" joke

A robber breaks into a home and procedes to loot the kitchen of the fine china and such when he hears a voice that says "Jesus is watching you" the robber looks around and doesnt see anybody Next he goes to the bedrooms and continues stealing then he hears the voice again "Jesus is whatching you " now he is starting to get paranoid so he turns on the lights and looks around, he sees a bird in the corner so he goes up to the bird and asks "are you the one saying Jesus is watching you" the bird says yes then asks whats your name the robber says todd the robber says whats your name the bird says milfred . The robber mumbles to himself what kind of person names their bird Milfred? The bird replies the same kind of person theat name their doberman Jesus.

At a gynecologists convention Dr. Goldfinger began to read his paper on "The Variation of the Clitoris".
"One of the most unusual cases I ever came across," he told his audience, "was a clitoris that had a close resemblance to a more...

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Dewayne, his wife, and Dewayne's mother-in-law went camping over the 4th of July weekend. Dewayne's wife announced that her mother had been gone from her stroll in the woods way too long.
So the two of them went looking for her.
After a while they spotted a gigantic, more...

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The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand." "And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from more...

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A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...

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