"Jesus loves you" joke

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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1. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

2. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

4. I love deadlines. I more...

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

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