"Jesus loves you" joke

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

1. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

2. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

4. I love deadlines. I more...

Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.