"Job Resume" joke

Areas of Effectiveness: I am very Effective at sittin' on my ass and directin'a dumbass at gettin'work done that I don't wanna do. I can drink beer with the best beer drinkers And if I have a few to many I can find the best places to sleep it off. I am very good at bitchin' when things don't go my way or I don't feel like doin' nothin'.
Seminars/coarsework:I have taken classes on how to get rich without doin'nothin' but quit cause it took to much work and I got a headache.
Licenses: Yep...I got one...whoopee
Objectives: to get a job with a company that don't make me work to hard and pays me alot of money so I can buy more beer.
Education: Been to the school of hard Knocks and learned not to take any s#it off of anybody.
Awards Received: I got an award from the Navy it is called a bad conduct discharge award.
Interests and Activities: I like drinking beer and chasin' women.
Languages: I speak english perty good.
Work Experience: I can do pert near anything.
Volenteer Experience: Volenteered once but quit cause it was to hard and I got tired.
Hobbies: Drinkin' beer, shootin' guns, and sickin my dog on people I don't care for.
Referances: Budwieser Corperation, Remington arms, and Bass Pro Shops.
Extracurricular Activitied: Sleepin and sex.
Community Activities: All the beer bashes I can find.