"Kicks law ?" joke
Santa was hunting in Bhatinda recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a pigeon he had shot. A farmer came and asked Santa what he was doing on his property.
"Retrieving this pigeon that I just shot", he replied.
"That pigeon is on my side of the fence, so now its mine," replied the farmer. Santa asked the farmer if he recognized who he was talking to.
"No", replied the farmer, "I don't know, and I don't care."
"I am Santa, a famous lawyer from Ludhiana", came the reply. And if you don't let me get that pigeon, I can sue you for your farm, your tractor, and everything else you own. I'll leave you penniless on the street."
"Well," said the farmer, "In Bhatinda the only law we go by is the kicks law."
"Never heard of it," said Santa.
The farmer said, "I get to kick you 3 times, and if you make it back to your feet and are able to kick me back 3 times, that pigeon is yours."
Santa thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and figured he could take this old farmer.
"Fair enough," he said.
So the farmer kicked Santa violently in the groin. As he was doubling over, the farmer kicked him in the face, and when he hit the ground, he kicked him hard in the ribs. After several moments, Santa slowly made it back to his feet.
"Alright, now it's my turn," said Santa.
"Aw, forget it," said the farmer. "You can have the pigeon."
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head.
"Yuck!" yells the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for?" replies the man. "He must be half-a-mile away by now."
Did you hear about the scientist who crossed a carrier pigeon with a woodpecker?
He got a bird that not only delivers messages to their destination but knocks on the door when it gets there.