"Kids Say The Darnest Things" joke

Kids Say The Darnest Things
TEACHER: Jack, how old are you on your last birthday?
JACK: 7 years old
TEACHER: How old are you going to be on your next birthday?
JACK: 9 years old
TEACHER: That's impossible!
JACK: No it's not. I'm 8 today.
TEACHER: Mike, go to the map and show me where America is.
MIKE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Good. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Mike! !!
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you when you misbehave?
STUDENT: Yes sir. But since I didn't keep my promise, you don't need to keep yours.
COOL STUDENT: Teacher would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: No.
COOL STUDENT: Good' cos I didn't do my homework.
TEACHER: Alfred, name one important thing that we have today and we don't 10 years ago.
ALFRED: Me! !!
TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No. I'm Billy Anderson.
TEACHER: In this box I have a 10-foot snake.
STUDENT: You can't fool me teacher! Snakes don't have feet! !!
HYGIENE TEACHER: How do you prevent deseases from biting insects?
WILLY: Don't bite any.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence using the word' I'
ELLEN: I is....
TEACHER: No Ellen always use "I am".
ELLEN: Oh, alright. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."