Punish Jokes

A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "Fuck, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don`t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I fuck`n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don`t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn`t help mutter, "Oh fuck¦" The priest said, "That`s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "FUCK, I Missed".

An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them.

He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"

Nobody answered him.

He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"

Again nobody answered.

The old Indian said, "I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish." So the Indian asked again,

"Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"

To which the littlest Indian replied, "I push port-a-potty over cliff."

The old Indian then shakes and spanks him, for his punishment. When he is done, the little Indian asks, "Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get punish. I tell truth, I get punished. Why you punish, father?"

The old Indian replied, "Big Georgie not in cherry tree when it got chopped down!!!"

How does Hellen Kellers maid punish her?
She leaves the plunger in the toilet!!!

An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them.
He then asked, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff? ”
Nobody answered him.
He then asked again, “Who push port-a-potty over cliff? ”
Again nobody answered.
The old Indian said, “I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish. ” So the Indian asked again,
“Who push port-a-potty over cliff? ”
To which the littlest Indian replied, “I push port-a-potty over cliff. ”
The old Indian then shakes and spanks him, for his punishment. When he is done, the little Indian asks, “Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get punish. I tell truth, I get punished. Why you punish, father? ”
The old Indian replied, “Big Georgie not in cherry tree when it got chopped down!!! ”

A man took the witness stand in his own trial in an effort to defend himself of a murder charge. "Sir," His lawyer began, "You are openly confessing to murdering Ms. Johnson, are you not?"
"Yes Sir, I am!"
"And yet at the same time, you are proclaiming your total inocence of all charges, Is that not correct?" His lawyer pursued.
"That is correct!" the man replied.
"Was this a case of self defense?"
"Definitely a case of self defense! She really intended to punish me!"
"Really? In what way was she going to punish you?"
"She asked me to marry her!!"
"Not Guilty!!!" Exclaimed the Judge! "Case dismissed!!!"