"Kitchen Signs" joke

1. Dinner will be ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
2. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
3. If, we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
4. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
5. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
6. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
7. Help keep the kitchen clean --->>> eat out.
8. Housework done properly can kill you.
9. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
10. My next house will have no kitchen ----just vending machines

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