"Letter Of Complaint" joke

Letter of complaint from a woman to technical support dept.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5. 0 system.

In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9. 9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7. 4, NBA 3. 2 and NHL 4. 1. Conversation 8. 0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? smile. gif
Signed,
Desperate
And the answer received...
Dear Desperate:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5. 0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1. 0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6. 2. Husband 1. 0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3. 3 and Flowers 7. 5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1. 0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2. 5, Happy Hour 7. 0, or Beer 6. 1. Please remember that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly. WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1. 0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1. 0.

It could also potentially cause Husband 1. 0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9. 2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1. 0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3. 0 and Single Malt Scotch 4. 5 combined with such applications as Boob Job 3. 6D and that old standby... Lingerie 6. 9 (which have both been credited with improved performance of his hardware).
Good Luck,
Tech Support

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