"Little Girl and Her Dog" joke
A little girl was walking her dog through the park when an old man approached her. "That sure is a very pretty dress you're wearing," he said.
"Why, thank you, sir," the little girl replied. "My mommy bought it for me. This is my dog, Porky."
"What a sweet little girl," the man thought to himself.
"I'll bet a quarter that I can guess why you named him that," the old man challenged.
"I'll bet that you can't," she replied.
"Let's see," the old man said, with a chuckle. "I'll bet you called him Porky because he's so fat."
"No, sir," she replied, shaking her head. "We called him Porky because he fucks pigs!"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.