"Magic cream" joke
This couple was getting ready to go to bed and when the husband came in from the bathroom his wife was rubbing this cream all over her tits. He said "what the hell are you doing".
She said she was unhappy about the size of her breasts and this cream was supposed to make them larger. "But it really doesn't seem to be working" she said.
The husband said "wait a minute I have an idea". So he went into the bathroom and came back with a roll of toilet paper and started rubbing it all over her tits.
She said "what are you doing"?
He said "well, I figured you have been wiping your ass with this for years and look how big it has gotten"!
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"