"Male and Female Dictionary" joke

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
Does my bum look big in this? = Tell me
I'm beautiful
Do what you want = You'll pay for this
later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you
moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late,
you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just
agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have
flabby thighs
You're so.. manly = You need a shave and
you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for
something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision
should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is
sex all you ever think
about??
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your
shoes and find a good
game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something
today that you're
really not going to like

---------- TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH:---------

I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out
of the question
I love you, too = Okay, I said it... we'd
better have sex now!
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually
like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually
like to have sex with
you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd
eventually like to have sex
with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd
eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it
illegal for you to have sex with other guys
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by
showing that I am a deep person and then you'd like
to have sex with me
I don't think those shoes go with that
outfit = I am gay