Sleepy Jokes

One day Adam was at school. It was time for religion class. Adam brought a small pin-prick he found in the hall. When it was time for class, Adam had to sit next to the sleepy kid. The teacher asked the first question. "Who is our savior?" Adam grabbed the prick and poked the sleepy kid with it. The sleepy kid screamed "JESUS CHRIST!". The teacher said "Very good!". The teacher asked the next question. "Who was the first person?". Adam grabbed the prick and shoved it into the sleepy kid. "ADAM!" the kid screamed. The teacher said "Very good!". The final question came and the question was "What did Eve say after they had their last child?" Adam grabbed the prick and put hole in the sleepy kid. The sleepy kid screamed "ADAM! IF YOU STICK YOUR PRICK INSIDE ME AGAIN, I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF!". The teacher collapsed.

THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISHWe need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've started my period This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry more...

SERVANT: SIR THERE IS A THIEF IN OUR HOUSE.
MAN: TELL HIM TO COME TOMMOROW, I AM FEELING SLEEPY TODAY.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

"I`m hungry."
(I`m hungry.)
"I`m sleepy."
(I`m sleepy.)
"I`m tired."
(I`m tired.)
"Nice dress!"
(Nice cleavage!)
"You look tense, let me give you a massage."
(I want to fondle you.)
"What`s wrong?"
(What meaningless self-inflicted psychological
trauma are you going through now?)
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair."
(I liked it better before.)
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair."
(50 bucks and it still doesn`t look any different!)
(While shopping) "I like that one better."
(Pick any damn dress and let`s go home!)