"General Halftrack calling to the motor pool" joke

General Halftrack called down to the motor pool. A sleepy voice answered, "Hullo."
General Halftrack said, "How many vehicles in the motor pool?"
The sleepy voice said, "Hold on."
After a few minutes, he came back on and said, "There's 7 Jeeps, 3 one and a half ton trucks, and 2 staff cars for the fat-ass generals."
General Halftrack was upset by this and said, "Do you know who this is?"
Sleepy voice said, "No."
General Halftrack said, "This is General Halftrack!"
Dead silence for about 5 seconds. Then the sleepy voice asked, "Do you know who this is?"
General Halftrack says, "No."
Sleepy voice replies, "Goodbye, Fat-ass!!!"

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

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A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...

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