"General Halftrack calling to the motor pool" joke
General Halftrack called down to the motor pool. A sleepy voice answered, "Hullo."
General Halftrack said, "How many vehicles in the motor pool?"
The sleepy voice said, "Hold on."
After a few minutes, he came back on and said, "There's 7 Jeeps, 3 one and a half ton trucks, and 2 staff cars for the fat-ass generals."
General Halftrack was upset by this and said, "Do you know who this is?"
Sleepy voice said, "No."
General Halftrack said, "This is General Halftrack!"
Dead silence for about 5 seconds. Then the sleepy voice asked, "Do you know who this is?"
General Halftrack says, "No."
Sleepy voice replies, "Goodbye, Fat-ass!!!"
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.