"Men and Boys" joke

Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.

Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook - they eat; we clean - they dirty; we iron - they wrinkle.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

Why do only l0% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.

Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.