"Men are like..." joke

Men are like department stores...
their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like computers...
hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like coolers...
load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like chocolate bars...
sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like coffee...
the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like horoscopes...
they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like plungers...
they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the crap out of you.

What are the two reasons men don't mind their own business?
No mind - no business

How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are taken and what's left is handicapped.

Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and goodlooking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because they're all pigs.