"Mission statement" joke

Mission Statement
1. TO LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.(Ha !)
2. TO ALWAYS WORK TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY. (( Hey I'm being serious here!))
3. IN THE EVENT OF POINT 2. NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH HAVE THE CAPACITY TO SAY ‘ F### IT!
4. NEVER P##S OFF ANYONE WITH A HORMONAL IMBALANCE (I.E. Anyone on H.R.T., Men suffering from man-flu, big blokes on steroids, women.){{This point was added as a direct result of point 1.}}
5. NEVER FLY ON A PLANE WHERE THE PILOT IS ANY OF THE ABOVE.
6. TO HAVE THE CAPACITY TO SAY SORRY ( In the unlikely event that I'm wrong!!. If not say it anyway to any persons identified in point4.
7. NEVER.NEVER .NEVER. GO TO BED ON A ARGUMENT…..(Stay up and drink Jack Daniels instead!)
8. TREAT OTHERS AS THEY DESERVE TO BE TREATED(( Unless -of course- what they deserve is a good kick in the b#####ks))
9. UNDERSTAND THAT OTHERS DO NOT ALL SHARE YOUR VISION! (Especially when it comes to driving!!!)
10. Remember ‘ I AM GARY' (unless ive forgot to insure car –in which case in JOHN)
Gary Woodward