"Mix and Match Movie Titles" joke
"American Beauty and the Beast"
The Beast has a midlife crisis and takes a job at a fast-food restaurant, while the Beauty has an affair with a real-estate tycoon.
"The Straight Love Story"
Ryan O'Neal tragically runs over Ali McGraw while mowing his lawn.
"That Girl, Interrupted"
Marlo Thomas goes to the nuthouse.
"The Talented Mr. Whipple"
An elderly toilet-paper spokes- man goes on a killing spree in Europe, murdering anyone who squeezes the Charmin.
"Soylent Green Mile"
Charlton Heston finds out what prison food is really made of.
"All About My Mummy"
Pedro Almodovar's bittersweet saga about a 3,000-year-old mummy and his struggle to find love in the modern world.
"The Animal House Rules"
A group of frat boys, led by John Belushi, drink too much hard cider and open an abortion clinic, with predictably wacky results.
"Boys From Brazil Don't Cry"
Gregory Peck clones Adolf Hitler, who fools all the other Nazis into thinking he's a she, with predictably wacky results.
"Barefoot in South Park --
Bigger, Longer and Uncut"
A couple of young newlyweds meet Cartman, Kenny and the gang.
"With Sixth Sense You Get Eggroll"
A young boy is haunted by images of Doris Day movies.
"The Remains of the Day of the Jackal"
A formal English butler puts his loyalty to his employer above all else, until he is persuaded to join a plot to assassinate Charles de Gaulle.
"Singing in the Black Rain"
A gang of vicious Japanese druglords beat the crap out of Gene Kelly.
"A Few Good Mallrats"
Jack Nicholson, having been drummed out of the Marines, is now working as a mall security guard. "You want me in that mall, you need me in that mall!"
"Paradise Lost in Space"
Satan is sentenced to spend eternity in a flying saucer with a goofy robot, an evil scientist and two annoying children.
Q: What's the difference between a German and a shopping trolley? A: A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
Pluto loses status as planet. Also loses court case seeking to be allowed to wear pants in Disney cartoons.
“I will leave the country if Hillary Clinton becomes president.” –Dick Morris on "Hannity & Colmes"
This means that if Hillary Clinton becomes president, Dick Morris will most likely not leave the country.
This week's joke, sent by a MegaLaw visitor, seemed appropriate given the feelings vented by so many at either the recent decision of the Florida Supreme Court or the recent decision of the U. S. Supreme Court. It is a classic among disgruntled attorneys...
What more...
A man walked up to a vending machine, put in a coin, and pressed the button labeled, "Coffee, double cream, sugar." No cup appeared. Then two nozzles went into action, one sending forth coffee, the other, cream. After the proper amounts had gone down the drain where more...