"Money Can't Buy You Everything" joke
It can buy a bed - but not sleep
It can buy a clock - but not time
It can buy you a book - but not knowledge
It can buy you a position - but not respect
It can buy you medicine - but not health
It can buy you blood - but not life
So you see, money isn't everything, and it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your friend, and as your friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...
So send me all your money and I will suffer for you!!
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.
your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number