"Mortician's prize" joke
A mortician was working late one night preparing bodies for burial. As he examined the body of a Mr. Schwartz, he made an amazing discovery. The man had the largest penis he had ever seen.
"I'm sorry, Mr.Schwartz," the mortician said, "but this has to be saved for posterity." The mortician detached the dead mans schlong, stuffed it into a briefcase and took it home.
"Honey," he said to his wife as he reached in to recover his prize, "I have something to show you that you won't believe."
"Oh, my God!" she screamed as it came into view. "Schwartz is dead?!"
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...