"Movie Cliches" joke

Binoculars & Glasses

Glasses never collect moisture when you come in from the cold outside.

Computer geeks and "intelligent" persons use them, action heros never have glasses.

Whenever someone looks through the binoculars, you see two joined circles instead of one.

Bodily Functions

People never cough, sneeze, blow their noses, or show any other symptoms of being in less than perfect health.

You can eat as much as you want in a film and you'll never EVER have to go to the bathroom.

Locks

Any lock can be picked with a credit card or a paper clip. Any safe can be opened in a few minutes with a stethoscope or some high-tech equipment with lots of blinking lights.

Women

Women will always have shaved legs and armpits, even in caveman movies.

Women will be worrying about their nails or dresses while people are trying to kill them.

Woman falls to the ground whilst being chased by a bad guy, even when running over level, unobstructed terrain. Note that when a man and woman are being chased, usually the woman falls, then the man pauses and helps her up.