"Must read conversations" joke

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow
is grazing in the field"
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher: How?
Student: Ladies first.
Waiter: I`ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and
frog`s leg.
Customer: Don`t tell me your problems.
Give the menu card.
Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing
football and the game went into extra time.
Customer: If I post this letter tonight,
will it reach Delhi in a days time?
Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer: I bet you, it won`t.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It`s addressed to Mumbai.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.
1st thief: Oh! The police is here. Quick!
Jump out of the window!
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.