"New England Temperature Conversion Chart" joke

60° F:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in New England sunbathe.50° F:
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
People in New England plant gardens.40° F:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.32° F:
Distilled water freezes.
Maine's Moose head Lake's water gets thicker.20° F:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.15° F:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.0° F:
All the people in Miami die.
New Englanders close the windows.10° below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.25° below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
People in New England get out their winter coats.40° below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.100° below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs."460° below zero:
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
People in New England start saying, "cold' nuff for ya?"!500° below zero:
Hell freezes over.
The Red Sox win the World Series!