"New Jersey Got First Choice" joke

What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A doberman.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Removable wingtips.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
What's the difference between God and a lawyer?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Where can you find a good lawyer?
The nearest cemetery.
Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.
Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.