"New York Jokes" joke

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney. ..
Oh Lordy!
A minister dies and, resplendent in his clerical collar and colorful robes, waits in line at the Pearly Gates. Just ahead of him is a guy dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I`m Joe Green, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."
Saint Peter consults his list, smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff, and enter into the Kingdom."
So the taxi-driver enters Heaven with his robe and staff, and the minister is next in line. Without being asked, he proclaims, "I am Michael O`Connor, head pastor of Saint Mary`s for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list and says, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the preacher, "that man was a taxi-driver, and you issued him a silken robe and golden staff. But I get wood and cotton. How can this be?"
"Up here, we go by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept -- while he drove, people prayed."
Dumb New York Laws
# A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
# It is against the law to throw a ball at someone`s head for fun.
# A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
# The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
# A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
# While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
# Slippers are not to be worn after 10: 00 P. M.
Carmel
# A man can`t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Greene
# During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
New York
# Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one`s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
# It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."
# You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
# Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
Ocean City
# It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.
# It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
Staten Island
# You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.
# It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."