"No Wonder Why My Soda Tastes Like Crap!" joke

This just in to the Newsdesk...A brand new study has revealed that fecal bacteria was found in almost 50% of soda fountains...I can just see the marketing angle now..."Try the New Dr. Pooper, Diet CaCa Cola and the Mountain Poo." (And where do those carbonated bubbles come from anyway?) Make mine a Root Beer Float (er.) It certainly gives new meaning to Squirt.