Weight Loss Jokes

Pharmaceutical giant Eli Lilly has been accused of hiding the side effects of the schizophrenia-treating drug Zyprexa.

The evil side effects? Weight gain.

That's how much we hate fat people in this country -- we don't mind if they have multiple personalities, as long as all of them can stay a size 4.

"Hi there. I'm Jillian Barberie and i lost 40 lbs on the nutri-system program in just 50 weeks. That's right, I lost 40 lbs in just 50 weeks. Just think, in another 150 weeks, you'll be rid of me completely."

A college in Pennsylvania won't let overweight students graduate unless they complete a fitness course. It's a disgrace, and it makes me so proud of the college that I attended-they wouldn't let me graduate based purely on my grades!

All of your pants have an elastic waistband
You are done eating and you can hear your skin actually stretch
You have your cholesterol checked and it comes back: BACON
It takes 2 hands to masturbate 1 to hold your stomach up and the other 1 to do it.
Your sweat smells like hot dog water
You have your own gravitational pull
The all you can eat buffet cuts you off
Richard Simmons comes to your house
Just hearing the word bacon, hotdog, and buffet make you hungry
You’re a stunt double for John Goodman

If this is you or someone you know get help before they have to cut the wall out!

I always try to encourage morbidly obese people.So keep your chins up!