"Off the Wire" joke

OFF THE WIRE
News We Just Couldn't Pass Up
A bad-tempered parrot named Henry has been banned from a national women's lawn-bowling championship in Britain for laughing and making disrespectful remarks.
Students protesting militarism in Israel wanted more than a banner to reach the public - so they painted an army tank memorial bubble-gum pink.
A 13-year-old Ugandan girl was forced to marry her elder sister's husband-to-be after the bride eloped hours before a traditional marriage ceremony.
A Russian political group will award $3,000 to the person who provides the best joke about its opponents in December's parliamentary elections.
After two days' baking, 10,000 eggs and 9 tons of flour, Chilean cooks finished what they claimed was the world's largest cake. It weighed 25 tons.
Esso Singapore has hired 10 university students to sing and dance for customers while filling their gas tanks and wiping their windows.
In Kissimmee, Fla., Ronald Legendre promised to love and honor his bride forever. His best man was Ronald Legendre and Judge Ronald Legendre pronounced the happy couple husband and wife. The three men are not related.
An Ohio woman collected a $500 judgement from a telemarketer who called her once too often.
Romanian police found a couple making love in a Bucharest park and fined them the equivalent of $25 for damaging the grass, which carries steeper fines than indecent exposure.
A country bandleader thanked Medford, Ore., doctors who relieved his prostate problems with a serenade - during the operation. He was under local anesthetic.
Compiled by Ivan Weiss, From The Seattle Times, Saturday, August 19, 1995. Reprinted without permission.