"Offensive to doctors" joke
Q: What's a practical nurse?
A: A nurse who marries a wealthy, terminally ill patient. A nurse asks the doctor if she can borrow his pen. The nurse says, "Doctor, you just gave me a thermometer."
The doctor replied, "God damn it! Some asshole's got my pen!" Many people are in line at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter is processing them very slowly. After a while, a man with a doctor's bag walks past everybody, nods to St. Peter and walks in.
One irate man walks up to St. Peter and says, "How come that doctor gets to go in while the rest of us wait?"
St. Peter replied, "That's not a doctor, that's God. He just likes to play doctor sometimes. Q: What does it mean to go on the Scarsdale Diet?
A: You shoot your doctor and then spend the rest of your life eating bread and water.
Not enough votes...